Hey, Tim Burton…could you maybe stop letting Jim Carrey ‘direct’ whenever you take personal time off from the set of “Candyland” to drop peyote buttons, get your hair cut by autistic midgets and wander the local laundromat? Cheri Oteri here is getting tired of making the “ok…now on this take, give me a wacky, sarcastic smile about being told by an anthropomorphic gum drop you’ve crossed the DMZ between Queen Frosting’s lair and the Land of Licorice…and make it extra rubbery” face.
What? Was Gattica having a 2-for-1 sale on the 2008 ’White and Scared’ model? Looks like 75% more forehead came standard that year.
Did you mean to fashion a keffiyeh out of geriatric zebra labia? Or did the Johnny Ramone poltergeist haunting your face make you?
Only two audio-visual recording devices, Cancerhawk? Look to your wrist, lest ye forget your dedication to the motherfuckin Triforce.
“After I ran out of ad-space on my arm for ‘Doom II’ villains, I figured I’d let Lucifer impale me with his Scepter of the Eternal Gaping Maw.”
Ridley Scott’s ‘Blade Runner’-era prediction for what every gay, biker ‘Where’s Waldo?’ will be wearing in the year 2010.
Glad to see someone has picked up the Carrie Donovan torch.
Metallica’s bass player went back in time to steal a jacket from the War of 1812 and returned to chill with a guido who goes as a Lisa Frank pube for Halloween via everyday.
What Disney’s “Tower of Terror” and Universal Studio’s “Mummy” do for the rest of us, only double-fistin’ can accomplish for Lumberjack Robert Goulet.
“Can I take yall higher?”
Brought to you by Scott Stapp’s clothing company, “Christ Douche”: Messiah-chic Activewear for those who
wereare awesome @Mortal Kombat.This fall 2009 set inspired by the Little Mermaid’s bedroom wall paper.
